SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I guess I just need to vent, but I could really use some words of encouragement.
My husband cheated on me October 4th of last year. Showed no interest in reconciling and within a week was living at his AP’s house. We’d been together 8 years, married for one and had a 15 month old son. I filed for divorce about a month after I found out.
To say it’s been a nightmare every day since, would be an understatement. First he didn’t come around, barely saw our son, didn’t even really talk to me which was honestly better than how it is now.
Him and AP broke up about 2 months after he told me (she got drunk and physically assaulted him). He bought me out of our house because I couldn’t afford the bills on my own. I had to move in with my parents until I can find another place, so he kept the dogs and almost everything in the house because I have nowhere to put it. He switches between bullying/blaming me and begging for me back, which is just an emotional roller coaster. And now he wants 50/50 custody of our son too. I feel like I’ve lost everything. I genuinely hate my life. My hair is falling out, I can’t sleep, panic attacks, crying all the time, you name it.
It’s been 7 months. I thought I’d be kind of farther along in the healing process by now but I feel like I’m just getting worse. Mother’s Day was especially triggering for me. How long did it take you to feel okay afterward? Was anything helpful in your healing journey?

You need help. And 6 months is still fairly early, I’m afraid. At six months I was still struggling.

Are you working with a lawyer? Make sure you are getting everything you are legally entitled to.

Are you in IC? Who beside your parents are you talking to? You need outlets. If getting to an IC is hard, try an online one and look for someone who is trauma informed. This really is a trauma, as you are experiencing. Totally sucks. I

Have you talked to your doctor? I needed to go on anti-anxiety meds for about 12-16 months after DDAY to just handle the day to day. I was mess, even lost my job. See your doctor and tell them what is going on. No prize for getting through without help.

Go NC/LC with your STXWS (soon to be ex WS). use an App or only texting to communicate as much as possible and keep it to child care and legal/logistics related things. Not about how you feel or how he feels. Research about the gray rock method and present as uninterested to him as possible. You need that space to give your brain room to breathe reduce the triggering every time you talk to him.

The good news is this will end. You WILL feel better, your hair will grow back, life will be sunnier again. For now, take care of yourself with exercise, healthy food, sleep, and healthy coping. Journal, meditate, yoga, cardio - all will help. See your doc about the anxiety.